


Text Messages from Tonight

by lionessvalenti



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 19:10:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14700405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti
Summary: Clint gets Natasha's number. Jokes about Steve's masturbatory habits naturally ensue.





	Text Messages from Tonight

**C.Barton**  
So how's life on the run?

Natasha looked at her text messages and blinked. This phone literally existed exclusively for emergencies. There were only three people in the world with this incredibly secure number. Clint Barton was not one of them.

That said, she didn't take much time to wonder how Clint had found her, because if he'd gone rogue with a couple of guys (even legitimate fighters like Steve and Sam), she would have found his number, and possibly his location, and hunted him down as quickly as possible. She wasn't hiding from him. She was hiding from everyone.

 **Nat**  
Oh, you know. One tiny jet, two dudes, no privacy.

She and Clint had built an entire partnership on being blasé with each other about major events. She could be bleeding out, and he'd be making sarcastic quips while holding her hand. She wouldn't have had it any other way.

 **C.Barton**  
Jizz everywhere, huh?

Natasha laughed, and then covered her mouth. She hadn't been exaggerating about the size of the jet, and Steve and Sam were supposedly asleep. It wouldn't last long if she was waking them up.

 **Nat**  
You know Steve. Very well known for his public masturbation.

 **C.Barton**  
Gross

 **Nat**  
Can't stop him. He's a machine.

 **C.Barton**  
Please stop

 **Nat**  
You started it.

There was a long pause between messages, and Natasha checked her phone to make sure she still had a signal. It was there. Maybe there had been an event with the kids. She tried to count back hours to figure out what time it was there, when her phone buzzed again.

 **C.Barton**  
How are you? Seriously.

Ah, that was the pause. He wanted to be serious and wasn't sure how to phrase it. Natasha took a deep breath. She turned her head when she thought she heard stirring behind her. Maybe it _was_ Steve rubbing one out. She tried not to think about it.

 **Nat**  
I'm fine. Seriously. It's work, but it's good. Someone's got to keep these knuckleheads in line.

 **Nat**  
How are the kids? Talk to me about something normal.

There was another sound from behind her, and she set the phone down just as Steve moved into the cockpit with her. He looked over at her phone, the screen still alight.

"Clint," she said, quickly hitting the home button before Steve could see that joke about his masturbatory habits. It might have been too late. "I didn't ask how he got the number."

"I wouldn't have either," Steve said with a smile. "Where are we?"

"Somewhere over Russia," Nat replied. "I can be more detailed if you care."

"I really don't." Steve sighed, sounding tired, and well, _old_. "I thought since I was up, I'd relieve you, let you get some rest, but if you want to finish your conversation..."

Nat grabbed the phone, the light blinking blue, indicating a new message, and held it out to Steve. "You can talk to him if you want."

"And tell him what? About how I can't stop masturbating on everything?" Steve quirked an eyebrow, and Natasha felt as close to blushing as she'd been in years.

"Sorry," she said. "I couldn't help myself."

"Apparently, neither can I."

She laughed softly, still not wanting to disturb Sam. "Well, I appreciate you controlling yourself long enough to have this conversation with me."

Steve chuckled. "This is going to be a bad running joke, isn't it? Sam is going to be so confused in the morning."

"That's the best part. If you want to take watch, I'll get that rest. Clint's got the number now, I doubt it'll be the last time we talk." Natasha got up and allowed Steve to take her seat. "Who knows the next time I'll get a chance to sleep."

"Tell Clint hi for me," Steve said, as she slipped out of the cockpit. "Tell him I'm _thinking_ of him."

Nat rolled her eyes, but she smiled. They were doing serious work out here. They needed a good laugh every once in a while. She had a good feeling this was going to be a good week.


End file.
